Never Goes As Planned

Just found out that BYU-Idaho won't release my transcripts to another university until I pay the balance of my student account. I guess I figured that would be the case, but hearing it from the school's accounting office was a blow. I was dissapointed.

But I was also relieved in a way. It was kind of a spur of the moment kind of dicision, one that didn't leave us with very much time to prepare. Were we to go to Central this winter, which was the plan, we would have had less than a month and a half for me to find a job, for us to find an apartment, and for financial aid in the form of government grants, loans, and private loans.

It was starting to feel like the time that Pamella and I ran off to BYU-I on a wing and a prayer, and wound up not having a place to live. Luckily, we were able to live with my grandparents for a while. Which we were very greatful for, but we didn't plan very well.

I want some time to plan it out better. So that when we do end up going to Ellensburg, everything goes off the best possible way. Not scatter-brained like things have been for us in the past.

Anyways, there's the update!

Looking Forward to the Journey.

Parenthood really does take a lot of time! My wife and I have spent the past few weeks since our daughter was born trying to figure out how to get things done we normally wouldn't have problems doing!

Like visiting family and friends. With a newborn, it is really hard to get out of the house!

Like cleaning. We actually had a hard-ish time doing this in the first place! Now it seems like everything has fallen behind, and even when we get caught up, it falls behind again!

Like sleeping. Yeah, we've lost a lot of that.

Like posting on blogs...

But I love being a dad! And I have the most perfect little girl! She's so adorable! I can hardly believe that she's really mine!

Let me tell you that there are very few things that feel as good as taking a nap on the couch with your little 7 lb baby sleeping on your chest.

It is so weird and amazing that I am a father. I am looking forward to this experience! Teaching and learning. Trying my best to help this little one grow and learn the things that she needs to learn to get through this life.

I know that I very much love and appreciate my parents, and the lessons that they taught me. I know they tried very hard to be great parents. And I know that they loved me fiercely.

I hope that my daughter, and my future children will know how much I love them. And hope that the knowledge of my love will help bear them up in hard times. And that they will know that I am always there for them to be a shoulder to cry on (right now, I'm a shoulder to cry, and spit up on).

I truly am looking forward to the adventures to come!

I am so happy and grateful that...

I've been re-reading the secret this morning. I will get through it this time! I've started it 4 times I think, and each time I allow something to get in my way. It's probably the shortest book I haven't been able to get through.

Not this time though! This time I will read it from cover to cover. And I will read it again.

Originally, I was a skeptic. Mainly because I didn't want to believe. I was first introduced to The Secret in a sales meeting for a job that I hated.

Subconsciously I think I knew from the first time I saw it that The Secret was a real thing. I can think back on my life and see it at work in many of the things I now have. My loving wife is one example. My debt is another.

I remember knowing from a young age that I wanted to marry. I thought about it all the time, even when I was 10 years old. When I got a little bit older, I knew more specifics. I knew I would meet and date the woman I was going to marry before I left on my mission. After I met my wife, I knew that we would have challenges, but that we would be able to overcome any obstacles that we encountered. Now here we are, together, happy, and excited new parents!

I attracted my wife and family to me. And if you ask my wife about the person she always envisioned as her husband, you will see that she attracted me to her as well.

As I have been reading, I have come to realize that I have attracted my debt to me as well. Another thing that I knew from a young age was that I didn't want to follow my parents footsteps into crippling debt. I focused so hard on it! So hard that now I have the debt that I didn't want! Even now it's hard for me not to scream inside my head, "I don't want this debt! This debt is burying me alive!"

Little did I know at the time, that by focusing so much on debt, I attracted it to myself!

I come from a very cynical family. It's been a part of my life for a long time. But my bishop said something the other day that really hit me. He said it takes like 1/900th of a watt to change. Just a little bit of energy to rearrange a few brain cells. I don't remember the exacted measurement of energy he quoted, but it was small, and that was the point.

Again, thinking back on my life, I can see that this is a true statement! I remember being so opposed to wearing a seatbelt as a child! I hated it! It was uncomfortable, and restrictive. Then one day, I think I was eleven, something clicked in my head, and I decided that it was safer to wear a seatbelt than to be thrown through the windshield. I have never failed to wear a seatbelt since.

Another example: My dad was a big advocate of men putting down the toilet seat after they were done "taking care of business". I would get a lecture every time I failed to do it. I was relatively rebelious about it, until one day it just clicked in my head. I have been very consistant in this practice ever since. I rarely miss, though it does happen.

So, I don't have to be a cynic! I can be a very positive person! All I have to do is decide! I can think positive thoughts, and be an unshakeable optimist, and attract great things into my life! All it takes is a little bit of energy!

Help! I'm a father!

Just kidding! I'm actually really very excited. Her name is Serah Katherine Helen Martin, and she is absolutely adorable! She has the cutest little face, and little fingers and toes, and little wrinkly knees...

Ok, I'll stop!

Anyways, I couldn't be more happy. For the most part she is a good and quite little girl, but she fusses a little bit. She's not used to this world yet. Of course, we're not really used to her either! Last night was our first night alone with her. Up till last night we had nurses and doctors around to help us, and tell us what to do. Now we're at home, and we're on our own. It's a little scary, and we are a little unsure of ourselves, but we are really excited as well!

And I can't help but look at her face, and see how adorable she is, and just smile. Even when she's screaming.

Anyways, not a lot of time tonight... and maybe not a lot of time for a while... but there you go!

The Best Laid Plans.

I will probably have a baby girl in the next 2-3 weeks. Everyone seems to think she will be here before her due date, including the doctor.

Am I ready for this? Maybe. I don't know very many people who were truly ready for kids.

Am I excited? You bet!

Sure it's scary. And yeah, our finances are still in shambles. But I am excited for her to get here. I'd like her to wait a few more weeks, so that she can finish developing like she is supposed to. But if she comes a little bit early, I won't be offended.

Am I nervous? Not really. I probably should be. But lately I've had a strange peace come over me when I think of little Serah coming into the world.

I've wondered throughout my wife's pregnancy about whether this whole thing was sanctioned by the Lord. We weren't planning this. Did we do something wrong? Is she supposed to be coming into the world at this time?

I now realize that it doesn't matter. God loves little children. He loves for his children to be sent to goodly parents.

Y'know, sometimes we talk about God's plan like it is written in stone. Like there is one way that he has planned things to work out, and there is no deviation. We know that God knows everything, and maybe sometimes that makes us think that our path is set, that there is one way we are going to go, and he knows it.

I reality, it's not that way. God's knowledge is infinite! And so are our possible paths. He doesn't know just the one path that we will choose. He knows all the paths we could choose. And he works hard to keep us on one of the paths that will lead us back to him.

If it wasn't so, why would he offer us so many chances to repent when we go astray. If he knows our path is set, and there's no deviating from our wicked ways, why would he not just let us go our way, and fulfill "His plan"?

His plan is for us all to return to him. He knows that we all can do that. He gives us every opportunity. He has backup plans upon backup plans when we reject his original plan. He never gives up on us, no matter how many times we push him away.

But in the end, it is our choice. In the end, we are the one's who make the decisions to follow his plan, or throw it away.

How does this tie in to my daughter? I've had several people tell me that Pamella and I weren't ready for this. It has caused me to doubt in myself, and sadly, caused me to doubt in the Lord just a bit. It made me think that I was deviating from the plan that he had for me.

But as I thought long and hard on the subject, I came to the above realization. That He loves me. And as long as I am trying to follow his commandments for me, He's happy with me. He doesn't have my life mapped out for me. I get to do that for myself. And as long as I am on a path that leads me back to him, he will sanction my decisions, and aide me along the way.

Serah is sanctioned by the Lord. I have no doubts about that. The Lord is happy. And he will be there every step of the way, to grant me strength when I have none, to pick me up when I fall.

So yes I am excited. And no, I am not nervous. My wife and I will be great parents. We have the Lord on our side.

Learn Something New Every Day...

Had a good time in Seattle! It was rainy, and I forgot how much I like the rain! And I forgot how much I like the greens over there.

I got a 99% in my class, and I learned a whole bunch about commercial video distribution! I am really excited about it. I love to learn about how things work, and how to build/fix things. So now I know everything there is to know about Cable, and how to distribute the signal to many tv's.

Well, not everything there is to know... :0)

I wish I could go into a lot of detail in here about what I learned. But that would bore my very few readers to tears, and perhaps they would quit reading. Suffice it to say, it's really cool!

I can't wait to put the things I've learned to practice! I think it will be so fun to do this! I wonder what other applications this will have for my life!

Got a Kick Out of This.

Some of it was a little harsh, but funny!

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTIONThis is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...

'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them , but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most chari table people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes .

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care..

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!! GET OVER IT !!!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not , you know who will.

...anyways...

Moving on!

All Rise for the Leader of Our Nation.

I read in "Newsweek" yesterday that, according to one poll, President Bush is has spent 23 consecutive months at less than a 40% approval rating. The author of this article makes this statement:

"No matter what he does, or what happens in the world, the public seems to have decided that Bush has been a failure."

I don't know how accurate this particular poll is, and whether or not it can actually speak for the "public". I've heard that poll statistics can be a tricky thing. However, the above quote still disturbs me.

I don't claim to know anything about politics, and I consider myself out of the loop when it comes to current events (an ailment which I am trying to remedy), and I knew very little about the Bush Administration's policies till I read this article. So maybe I'm a little naive about all this stuff.

I just don't see a reason to call Bush a failure.

Sure, maybe some things he has done were not the best. But who hasn't? President Bush has always seemed to me to be the kind of guy who genuinely cares about this nation, and what is best for it. And I respect him for doing what it takes to do what he feels is right for this nation and it's people.

If the polls are correct, and we as a people consider Bush as a failure, then we have essentially withdrawn our support of him. That bothers me. He's the leader of our nation. He's not oppressing us as a people. He's not sending in the troops to impose his unrighteous will on us. We did not elect him as president so that he could make us all happy. We elected him because we thought he would be the best man to run our country for four years, and then four more.

The thing that I really liked about the "Newsweek" article was how it almost defended President Bush. Though you could tell that the author didn't really care for our current President, he made it clear that there have been significant changes for the better in the Bush Administrations policies over the last few years. Even though they started out making some mistakes, they have done many things to correct them.

This to me is another reason to be proud of our current leader. No matter how gung-ho he was, and how convinced he was that he was doing the right thing, he can still say, "I was wrong. Let’s go another direction."

Not that the media would like you to know that. That's a whole different rant.

Again, I'm relatively uneducated about the topic, so maybe I shouldn't even be writing this. I just feel like we as a people enjoy complaining. That we enjoy placing blame where no blame is due, as long as it is not on ourselves. And that perhaps the fact that we don't approve of President Bush is our own problem. That maybe we will never approve of whoever we elect as President because we are more concerned with what we want than what is actually good for the nation as a whole.

I don't know.

Maybe.

I think the President of our country has a hard job. I don't envy him. I don't think I could do a better job.

Do you?

Not Your Run-of-the-Mill Reading Experience.

I finally finished "Breaking Dawn".

Loved it. Absolutely loved it.

It's not often that a book catches my interest anymore. It's even more rare for a book to keep me captivated. I have to say that the "Twilight Saga" is the first new series to keep me entranced since Harry Potter, and the Odd Thomas books.

And this last book! I think it was very well written. If I hadn't had to go to work, I would have finished it in one 8 hour read-a-thon.

I'm glad it took me a week to read though. It made it last longer. It gave me time to think about what was going on. To process all the unexpected twists. And boy were they unexpected.

I agree with my sister-in-law, Noelle, it was a little more intense than I would expect from a YA book. But then again, I started reading "The Wheel of Time" series when I was in 7th grade. That's college level reading. So I guess it just depends on the young adult.

Spoiler Alert: If you haven't read "Breaking Dawn" yet, stop reading now.

I gotta say, I like Bella better as a vampire than I liked her as a human. She just seems to have more clarity of thought, and her priorities seem to be more in order. She annoyed me just a bit as a human.

Plus, it was fun to read about her discovering her new found "vampire powers". And her relationship with Edward was more interesting to me after her transformation as well. It was on more equal footing.

Anyways, I suppose I should go get ready for work.

I'm a little sad. Now I have to begin the search again. The search for truly well written literature.
Hopefully, it's not as hard to find as it has seemed these past few years.

Here's to Life.

Payday always comes as such a relief. Right up until you realize that it isn't going to go as far as it needs to. But that's OK, at least it goes somewhere!

Just talked to one of my missionary companions a little while ago. Spencer McKinney. I love that guy. He's actually planning on moving out to Rexburg for school at BYU-I in January. I hope he does, cause it would be awesome to see him again.

We were just talking about how things were going in our lives, and what our plans were. It's amazing how nothing ever really works out the way you think they should, or the way you envisioned.

Take for example my life. Some things have turned out the way I planned. Like marrying my wife. I knew from a young age that I would marry someone I had dated before my mission. And I couldn't be happier with that part of my life.

But my plans for my education and career? Those have gone nothing like I thought they would. I was supposed to be a music teacher. I was supposed to get my Masters in music. Hasn't happened, and probably won't. Music just isn't the path I feel like I should follow.

Without that, I am completely adrift. No real plan, no real idea of what I want out of my life. I have some ideas, but nothing solid.

It's weird living like this for me. When I was young, I had goals to work towards. Graduating high school, going on a mission, starting a family. Well, those goals have been realized, but my career goals are shaky at best.

I guess every one's life is different, but it's hard not to compare myself to other people. I have a friend from high school who has his PhD in some engineering field. One of my really good friends just got his BS in Electrical Engineering, and has a great job with the government. It seems like all the people I know my age are either graduating, or starting great careers. And here I am, floating.

I'm not complaining, I'm quite happy. I love my wife, I'm excited to have a daughter, I enjoy my job. But I know it needs to get better. We've been praying for better.

That's why this Rad Tech job seems to be such a great thing for us. It's a great job, and it's in an accessible avenue. It gives me the means to support myself, and my family. I would actually feel comfortable going to school. As it sits, I don't feel like I can do that, because I don't feel like I could support my family and do school in my current situation.

Sometimes I wish it was now. I wish I already had the great job. I wish Pamella and I were living a more comfortable lifestyle than we currently are. But the Lord often sees fit to try the patience of those that follow him. He knows its the only way to help us grow. If there were no trials in life, why would we try to improve? And if I hope to improve far beyond my current level, I have to be OK with the challenges.

Dream Come True?

There is a course offered every so often. This course prepares one to take a test. Passing this test certifies one as a Radiological Technician. The course is a few months long, and costs $3500.

The job isn't the most exciting job in the world. It pays very well though. At least compared to what I'm getting paid. It's at least double my current yearly salary.

Unfortunately, I missed out on the class for this time. There was an open house for it this last Saturday, and there they filled the class. The next one will be offered in either January or February.

As much as I wish that I could have gotten in this time, it's probably a good thing that I didn't. First of all, I don't have the money. Second of all, I really wouldn't have had a whole lot of time to think it through, to weigh the pro's and con's.

Gotta say, the pro's seem to far outweigh the con's right now. The money alone makes it seem worth it.

The disadvantages? I may not be able to get a job in the Tri-Cities immediately. There are plenty of places that will hire Jr. Techs, but they're either in Idaho, or South Carolina, or somewhere else in this nation. I can either take a job somewhere else, or become a road technician. That means that I would be shipped out to other plants for a few weeks out of the month to refule them. I'm told the money is really good for road techs.

Once I get enough hours as either a road tech, or a tech somewhere else, I could probably come back here to the Tri-Cities, or maybe we'd live in Idaho. Dad says that it could take 6 months or so though.

This seems to be a long awaited answer to lots and lots of prayers. It's the first thing that has felt this right to me in a long time. It answers so many questions. Seems to solve so many problems.

We'll see I suppose. For now, I'm extremely excited.

Now to come up with 3500 big ones...

Shiney.

I am a huge slacker.

It has just been really hard to write in here. I never seem to have the time that I want to dedicate to an entry in here, and so I just keep putting it off until I feel like I do have time. Well I don't have time right now, but I'm making time anyways.

Things have been going really well at CFS lately. Ever since OJ created positions for us and gave us responsabilities, I have really been having fun. And I feel like I accomplish things each day. A lot.

One of the things I'm in charge of that I'm really excited about is rentals. We only have 2 rentals out right now, but I really think we can get a lot more out there, and really start to bring in a decent monthy income. We have a whole lot of used inventory, and a lot of that used inventory is pretty decent stuff. I really feel like this is a really good way for me to bring in some income for the company.

I'm also in charge of the groundskeeping and general cleanliness of the property. Now that I know I am in charge of that I can come up with a tasks and a schedule of when those tasks need to be done. Like cleaning the bathroom happens every Monday, or Mowing the lawn happens every Wednesday. And if I'm gone, I can make sure someone else gets it done. Its also been kinda fun to do some research on how to do some of these maintenance things.

Its just nice to be "in-charge" of things. I have more responsabilities as well, like making sure prices are correct in the system. Creating and updating pricetags. Managing the used inventory. Doing all in-house services. Managing the warehouse.

It's gonna take a while to get all these things to where they are workable. Especially the warehouse! But I am so excited to have some freedom to do these things. I feel like I can do them well, and shine.

Good News

Pam gets to come home today! She's extremely excited about that. We were a little worried at first that coming home would be a dangerous thing, but after talking to the doctor, we have some of those fears put to rest. He said that she would probably do better at home on bedrest. She wouldn't be as stressed, and she would sleep better, which are really key elements to a healthy pregnancy.

Now we just have to figure out a way to keep her off her feet. I might have to tie her down...

OJ is sending me to a class in Seattle to learn how to install and service Cardio Theatre at the end of August. Cardio Theatre is the tv's and radio's on the Precor machines at health clubs. It's a four day thing, and I have to pass a test at the end of the class. It doesn't seem like it'll be too bad. I am usually able to absorb information easily, and retain that information for a long time. Especially if I find it interesting. And I think I will find this stuff interesting. I enjoy learning how things work, and learning how to fix things. I am hoping he'll send me to Precor Tech Certification 1 school as well. I would really enjoy that a lot. Besides that, it would make me more valuable to CFS.

I really want to get back to school. Really bad. I want to learn stuff. To work towards a degree in something. I really would love to see myself in 10 years teaching at a university somewhere. Teaching really is fun for me. My favorite thing on my mission was teaching appointmets. I loved to find new and exciting ways to teach the principles of the Gospel to those who wanted to learn. Finding ways to help them understand in their unique way. It would be a pleasure to do something similar in a field at a university. Either History, or English. Both are of interest to me.

Maybe Zac and I could be professors at the same school... :0)

Not Much Sleep. But More Than My Wife.

My wife is in the hospital with some pregnancy complications. She's been there for a couple of days now. Things are looking good for now, but they want to monitor her for a few days at least, and maybe for the rest of her pregnancy.

She has something called "placenta abrupta". I think that's how you spell it anyways. Basically it means that her placenta is seperating from the wall of her uterus. Right now its not too bad, but it could become bad, which is why they still have her there.

She started bleeding randomly at about 18 weeks. We went into the ER, and they took some tests and an ultrasound. They didn't find anything, so they sent her home. It cleared up after a few days. They didn't seem too worried about it at the time. But they told us to come back if it happened again.

The next time we went in, the doctor put her on partial bedrest. We still didn't know what it was, but he wanted her to take it easy to see if it would clear up. The doctor also made an appointment with a specialist.

The specialist found the problem. This was last Thursday. She was 26 weeks along. He found the small place where the placenta was seperated. It wasn't a huge break, so he kept her on partial bedrest, told her to take it easy, and that it would hopefully clear up in about 6 weeks.

She was doing great for a couple of days. No bleeding, no pain or nausea. But then Sunday it happened again. She was very reluctant to go in, because she was afraid that the doctor would put her on full bedrest. Ultimately, we decided to go in. So we did, Monday evening.

Everything looked ok with the baby, and they couldn't see if the placenta had seperated more. But the doctor wanted to keep her for a few hours to monitor her. Before he let her go home, he told her that she was on bedrest with bathroom privaliges, and that she was to come in if there was the smallest bit of bleeding, pain, or if she was contracting every half hour. He also said that the next time we came in, she would be there for the duration of her pregnancy.

We were back the next evening. It was kinda scary. She was bleeding more than she ever has. They hooked her up to monitor the baby, and her. She was contracting every 3 minutes. The doctor was talking about delivering the baby the next morning. 2 months early.

Luckily they were able to stop the contractions, and the bleeding stopped as well. They decided not to deliver, but now Pam is on bedrest in the hospital untill she has the baby. She's not very excited about that. But it's better than having a baby too early.

Now it's just a waiting game.

Stairs

Man I am tired. It was a really long day yesterday. We moved almost everything from our old apartment to our new apartment. We got all the big stuff done by about one o'clock in the afternoon with the Missionaries help. Then we started moving all the little stuff. It was a long day. My right leg was killing me from walking up and down the stairs ten thousand times!

It's really exciting to be moved. We really like our new apartment. It's a lot bigger than our old one. Plus, it has washer and dryer hookups, and a fireplace. We love that. We also love the fact that it has two bathrooms. All in all, we couldn't be happier. This is some place I can see us staying for a couple of years. By that time, maybe I'll have a couple of years of college under my belt, better pay, and we can move into a house.

Two years from now I'll be 25. Wow. That's pretty crazy. Hard to believe it. Man life goes fast. I hope that I can get somewhere in two years. I kinda feel adrift still. Like I really don't know what I'm going to do with my life.

Seems silly to be 23 and clueless.

At least I'm happy. I have many, many blessings. And more to come.

Back to the Grind

I went through and double spaced between paragraphs in my previous entries. It's easier to read something when it has roadmarks, instead of looking like a giant daunting block of words.

It is deffinately a Monday. And a difficult one at that. After 5 days off...

My wife and I found out today that we don't get to move into our new apartment until Thursday. That was a let down. I was looking foreward to being in a new place tomorrow, and I know for certain that my wife was really excited. Alas, what is a young man to do. I guess we just wait.

I actually had a few customers come in today. That was a nice break from the monotony. Terry from Precor came today as well. He's the regional commercial sales rep. His responsability is making sure all the retailers in his region are taken care of. He told us some really neat things about Precor. I like it when he comes, because he is so positive, and he knows his stuff. It's always really educational when he comes.

The last time he came, I learned a whole lot. My sales style improved drastically after he left. I acquired a passion for precor cardio. I love to talk about it. The more I know, the more I want to share. My excitement for the product has lead to a couple of Precor sales.

There really is no comparison to Precor ellipticals. And their treadmills are superb as well. You will find reviews out there that place Precor products somewhere down the list from the number one spot, but that's just not right. It makes me question the integrity of some of those review companies. Consumer Reports included.

I literally could talk about Precor all day. They are expensive, but you deffinately get your money's worth. And then some.

You can see it in the way it's built. So simple. You can feel it in the perfection of its stride. Nothing feels better. Everything about it is well thought out, tried and tested, and engineered to as close to true perfection as man can get. And still they find ways to improve. Which fits with the full name of the company. Precision Corporation.

Maybe one day I'll be a regional rep for Precor! Or something. I think working for Precor would be a fantastic job. They really are a company that stands for something good.

Ok, I'll stop.

Late Night Conversation

Had a good conversation with a friend of mine last night. We ended up talking till about 1 in the morning. We like to do that. It's one of the things I enjoy the most about having him visit. He has been instrumental in several paradigm shifts in my recent life.

Last night was one of them. We were talking about my job, and I was kind of down about it. I've always considered myself a smart guy. A pretty level headed guy. Someone who excels at anything he does. Well, I don't feel like I excel at this job. We discussed the reasons for that, most of which are related to confidence. I'm still just not very comfortable with my boss (I'm getting there), and I don't really feel like I fit in all that much at CFS.

He told me something from his life that has really helped him out, and then applied it to my situation.

He said that what I needed to do was look at my job as one entity, rather than the two entities I'm currently seeing it as. I am seeing one CFS that I really like, the good times, the sales and dealing with customers, etc. And I am seeing another CFS that is hard on my body, that is hard on my stress level, that doesn't pay me enough, and where I am always in state of reaction because there is no sence of planning or organization. I need to look at them as one thing. One company.

He's right, and you can hear it in the way I talk about it. One minute I'll be talking about how much I love some of the things I do, the next I am complaining about my back hurting, or about how tired I am after dealing with the stress of every day being an emergency. But I don't seem to associate the two.

What I need to to is look at it as a whole, evaluate it's effect on me, and decide if it is something is good for me, or if it is something that is hurting me.

When I look at CFS, I see how awesome it can be. And sometimes I fail to see exactly how far away it is from being an awesome company. It's already almost lost its most beneficial employee because no matter how hard he tries to make it better, it doesn't get better. The owner just isn't willing to do what it takes to really make this place great. We hope he comes back, but I get the feeling that he won't.

Anyways, our conversation last night really got me thinking about all this stuff. Maybe it's time to move on. Actually, I'm pretty sure it is. When I take a realistic look at my job, I know what I should do. Or at least I think I do.

We also discussed reasons why I haven't already started an aggressive job search. One of the biggest reasons for me is St. Louis. I was unemployed for 4 months. It was literally hell. I have never felt so hopeless and helpless. I have never doubted in myself more than I did in those long 4 months. I don't want to go through that again. And I am kind of secure in the idea that I have a job right now. I fear that if I was to find another job, that it would become another St. Louis. That the job would seem to be awesome, but in the end, would fail and leave me unemployed again. I don't think I could bear that. It would be so destructive for me and my family.

But I have to try. Though it is comforting to have a steady job right now, it is not enough. It was never meant to be the way I support my family. It was meant to get me back on my feet. Well, I am better off now than I have been since I got home from my mission. But I have kind of capped out. I need to move on to something better.

Well, we'll see what happens.

Hope

Sometimes I feel very hopefull about things. And lately, such has been the case. I don't exactly know why that is, but I feel very good about things in general.

It's probably from having a couple of days off. It's been really nice to be home and spend some quality time with my wife. Yesterday we made breakfast together, and the day before that we had some good quality time to actually sit together and talk. She really is a wonderful woman. She has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. And she puts up with me, so she's got some good patience as well!

I've worked a lot of hours this week. But more than that, I've been on deliveries this time instead of in the shop. Brandon sprained his ankle pretty bad over last weekend, and it's looking like he's gonna be down for a couple of weeks, so he's got to stay in the shop and off his feet. It kinda sucks, because I was just starting to get some things going, but he hates it in the shop, so I think he wants to get back out to his regular position as soon as possible.

The 4th was a lot of fun. Zac and Colt came over and we BBQ'd some burgers and dogs. I killed a few of them... I'm a beginner...

Anyways, I hope I can keep this positive attitude going. I really feel like some of the weight of stress has been lifted off my shoulders. And Pam and I are getting along great lately. Not that we don't get along pretty good most of the time. But its just been a very happy time lately. I think a lot of it has to do with my attitude. I just feel better.

Anyways, I'd better get home!

Ideas of a Tired Mind

My boss called me today, and asked if we had any customers come into the shop today. My response was, "Not a single one! Not even a phone call!"

Obviously this wasn't good news to him. Even though it is our slow season, we should be getting some customers! He commented that we need to start doing something about that. I laughed and told him that maybe we should start going door to door!

His concern kicked my brain into high gear, and I came up with a few ideas. They may not be good ones, but its a start at least.

I have been thinking a lot about why someone would buy fitness equipment, besides their obvious need for an extra place to hang the clothes out to dry. The biggest reason I can think of for someone to purchase fitness equipment is to better their health. But not everyone thinks about their health all that much, aside from weight loss. And a lot of people get fed up with their weight, start a work our program, only to stop in only a few weeks. The reason? Because they don't really know what they are doing, or where to start. I know thats the case with me. I quit for two reasons mainly. Either because I don't see any results, or working out is too hard. And I think both of those reasons are because I don't really know what I'm doing.

So maybe the question I should be asking myself isn't "What prompts people to buy" as much as "What causes people not to buy". And maybe the biggest reason is because people aren't educated about fitness. How to do it, why its even necessary, what it does for your body, how it can improve quality of life.

That's what really attracts me to the idea of holding free community classes sposored by Columbia Fitness and Club 24. I think as people become more educated about the benefits of fitness, and how to do it, they will become more interested in doing it, and want to purchase fitness products.
I also had the idea of creating a company blog. Somewhere like this forum, to discuss the same sorts of things. Why fitness is important, how to do it. What exercise programs and products are a scam, and what things actually work.

You know, one of our company slogans is "We Make Fitness Fun". But I can't really think of a way that we do that. I think that is one of our biggest opportunities for advertizing/generating sales. To actually make fitness fun!

I got really excited about the blog idea. I also got excited about making a CFS news letter to send out along with our postcard ads we send out every now and then.

Maybe I'll work on getting some rough draft ideas for all of these things to show to my boss, and see what he thinks.

Burned by the Sun

My friend has a car that is the exact same make, model, and color as mine. The only difference is, mine runs, and his has a blown motor. So yesterday, I spent the day swapping parts from his car to mine. A couple of doors, the trunk lid, some interior cosmetic pieces. We even tried to switch out the cluster on the dash because my speedometer doesn't work. That was a failed endeavor, apparantly Pontiac puts some kind of security feature in the cluster that makes it only work for its original car.

Anyways, I spent the whole day out in the sun. Needless to say, I am now sufficiently burned. The back of my neck, and one side of my face have a nice reddish color to them. My arms aren't too bad.

Car's are a pain in the butt. I thought my experience working on fitness equipment would make working on my car a piece of cake. Not so! Car's are a hundred times harder! Ok, maybe not a hundred. But they are deffinately harder. We spent a good 5 hours on that darn thing, and there is still work to be done. We're not even doing anything that involved! I hate to think what working on the motor is like!

We got the doors swapped, which is good, since my drivers side window didn't roll down, and the rear drivers side wing window was broken out. But when we hooked the wiring back up, the door locks didn't work. We still have yet to figure that one out...

One day when I'm rich, I'm going to buy brand new cars, and pay for some one else to maintain them! I now know that being a car mechanic is not my dream job.

It's just me all alone at the shop today again. Every one else is in Lewiston doing a major delivery and set up job. They've been there since yesterday. This is one of our biggest deals yet. Its like a two hundered and fifty thousand dollar sale to a gym that is opening up there. Fitness clubs have been opening up like crazy in these past few years. It seems that people have fitness on the brain.

That's another reason why I think this company really could do well. Fitness clubs have to have their suppliers. And with more and more people focusing on their health these days, there is deffinately room for some good growth in this industry.

I think the biggest challenge for our company is that we are a small business, and have a hard time getting our name out there. Advertizing on the radio or the tv is expensive, as are billboards and ads in the newspaper. We're kind of located in the armpit of Kennewick in a run down little location.
I was thinking a little bit on how to get our name out there better. I'm sure there are so many opportunities out there that cost little or no money, like displaying our product at Numerica CU. I didn't even know that things like that were out there as an option for us. Andy's idea about sponsoring sporting/fitness events is one I also wouldn't have thought about. An idea I had today was getting us more involved in health and fitness education by setting up a free community class about staying in shape, how to exercise, how to eat healthy, etc. Since we are so closely connected with Club 24, we could hold the classes there, or here at our little shop. I think that would be a really good idea.

As for advertizing, there's always flyers on people's cars! Word of mouth is working ok, we just need more mouths spreading the word.

Anyways, lunch is over (a while ago...) so I should go be usefull!

Technological Addiction

We finally have internet at our home. I never really realize how much I miss having it at my immediate disposal until I've been without it for a while. There have been several times during our marriage where we have been without internet for long periods of time, and when we we finally get it back, its a race to the computer. We've actually had to set time limits for ourselves or else one person will dominate the computer for hours!

We're actually paying for our internet as well. For a while we were able to "steal" internet from a few people who were broadcasting their own internet with a little wireless reciever. That lasted for a few months until, as is very common in an apartment complex, those we were "stealing" from decided to move. That was a sad day.

The most exciting thing for me about having the internet is being able to stay connected better. It allows me to be more consistant in my e-mails, in blogging, and in keeping up on current events. I can do all those things at work, but my time is limited while I am there.

Speaking of work, it was pretty good today. I feel like I accomplished a lot. One thing I like about my current position is the neat things I get to learn how to do. Since I'm the only person at the shop, I get to make purchase orders, deal with vendors, deal with customers. The other day I got to be the first to use our new financing program. And because I'm the one who has dealt most with this particular bank, my boss has asked me to work out a deal with them to see what kind of lower payments we can work out for our customers with good credit. I also am working on a project to get some of our product displayed in one of their local branches.

My boss asked me to get us a booth at the fair as well. That was a fun project. It didn't take very long either. I just had to make a few phone calls and fill out a form. And on Friday I need to follow up and make sure our application was recieved.

It amazes me how easy some of this stuff is. And it's nice that my boss trusts me to get this stuff done. Part of it is because I'm the only one at the shop, but he leaves me at the shop because I kind of know what I'm doing. Sure I'm not perfect, but he's a pretty laid back guy, and he's pretty cool about mistakes, and allows for a learning curve. It's been a good educational opportunity for me.

That's one of the reasons I have a hard time wanting to leave here. I learn so much, and each day it seems like I have more and more responsability. I learn more and more about sales, dealing with people, being a manager (even though I'm not one, just acting manager). I have my days where the disorganization gets to me, but I always come back to the thought that one day, when I've learned all I can from this job, I will have had experiences that were far more valuable than the pay I recieved. I feel like in the end it will all have been worth it. I feel like after this job, I can do anything.

I like being the contact person for our vendors. I like being the one to try and generate sales, and to come up with ideas on how to improve things. I've only been at it for a few weeks, but maybe it would be a good idea to really take an active roll in improving the company. To really make things happen. Like Andy said in his reply to my last post. I have been really stressed out lately, and not really part of the solution. I have been more a part of the problem. Maybe I need to just show some more initiative, and really make myself valuable to this company. Because I can see this company really having a lot of potential. Our vendors really seem to like us, so we have the potential to expand a lot. To really become something good. Really good. And my boss can't do it all on his own, he's gonna need help. Maybe I could be that help.

I'll have to kick around some ideas and do some research. I wonder what it is that we could be doing better? Things that don't cost the company a whole lot of money. Little things. Hmmm.
Let's see what I come up with. Ideas are always welcome from anyone who has any!

T. Adam Martin.

In the Beginning

I have a LiveJournal, but Livejournal is kind of highschoolish. At least it seems that way to me. Perhaps that's because I used it mainly through my highschool days. At any rate, it seems a lot less mature of a medium than this particular forum.

I would lable my intentions for this blog of mine, but it seems that everytime I lable something what I want it to be, it either becomes something different entirely, or I just end up pretending it doesn't exist. So to use a phrase that seems to be popular in Hip Hop culture (though often used incorrectly) this blog "is what it is".

Life in the Martin home has been challenging lately. Stress has not been in short supply. I think the biggest stressor for me is my job. I really enjoy it, most of the time. I love to deal with customers. Helping a customer get what they need, and really taking care of them throughout the whole purchase process is really fun for me. I love it when a customer is pleased with the product, and the service they get from us. I enjoy learning about how the fitness equipment that we sell works, and how to fix it.

But the pay isn't that great, and the company organization is a wreck. I feel like more often than not I'm in "reaction mode". I'm sure my blood pressure at work is high, and I'm to young for that. For all the things I'm expected to do, I really should be getting paid more than I am. I don't mind so much, but the fact that my wife and I are expecting makes me focus a lot more on my wage.

The fact that I'm the "acting sales manager" is hard as well. It wouldn't be so bad if I had a defined roll, and a little bit of training. There are lots of things to do, and I don't even know what a lot of them are. The regular sales manager is out for the next three months, and he didn't really leave any notes. But how was he supposed to do even that with the massive amount of company disorganization. Which is one of the reasons he's taking three months off anyways!
I'm keeping my eyes open. There are good opportunities out there, even for someone who hasn't achieved a degree yet. And I plan on doing that as well. Even if I have to go to school full time while working full time. We'll try part time for a while though.

I'm excited for the potential that life has for me though. I have had a very good feeling about the way things are going in general, and I really believe they will improve to beyond even what I can imagine. As crazy as it is, life is amazing.