Here's to Life.

Payday always comes as such a relief. Right up until you realize that it isn't going to go as far as it needs to. But that's OK, at least it goes somewhere!

Just talked to one of my missionary companions a little while ago. Spencer McKinney. I love that guy. He's actually planning on moving out to Rexburg for school at BYU-I in January. I hope he does, cause it would be awesome to see him again.

We were just talking about how things were going in our lives, and what our plans were. It's amazing how nothing ever really works out the way you think they should, or the way you envisioned.

Take for example my life. Some things have turned out the way I planned. Like marrying my wife. I knew from a young age that I would marry someone I had dated before my mission. And I couldn't be happier with that part of my life.

But my plans for my education and career? Those have gone nothing like I thought they would. I was supposed to be a music teacher. I was supposed to get my Masters in music. Hasn't happened, and probably won't. Music just isn't the path I feel like I should follow.

Without that, I am completely adrift. No real plan, no real idea of what I want out of my life. I have some ideas, but nothing solid.

It's weird living like this for me. When I was young, I had goals to work towards. Graduating high school, going on a mission, starting a family. Well, those goals have been realized, but my career goals are shaky at best.

I guess every one's life is different, but it's hard not to compare myself to other people. I have a friend from high school who has his PhD in some engineering field. One of my really good friends just got his BS in Electrical Engineering, and has a great job with the government. It seems like all the people I know my age are either graduating, or starting great careers. And here I am, floating.

I'm not complaining, I'm quite happy. I love my wife, I'm excited to have a daughter, I enjoy my job. But I know it needs to get better. We've been praying for better.

That's why this Rad Tech job seems to be such a great thing for us. It's a great job, and it's in an accessible avenue. It gives me the means to support myself, and my family. I would actually feel comfortable going to school. As it sits, I don't feel like I can do that, because I don't feel like I could support my family and do school in my current situation.

Sometimes I wish it was now. I wish I already had the great job. I wish Pamella and I were living a more comfortable lifestyle than we currently are. But the Lord often sees fit to try the patience of those that follow him. He knows its the only way to help us grow. If there were no trials in life, why would we try to improve? And if I hope to improve far beyond my current level, I have to be OK with the challenges.