I will probably have a baby girl in the next 2-3 weeks. Everyone seems to think she will be here before her due date, including the doctor.
Am I ready for this? Maybe. I don't know very many people who were truly ready for kids.
Am I excited? You bet!
Sure it's scary. And yeah, our finances are still in shambles. But I am excited for her to get here. I'd like her to wait a few more weeks, so that she can finish developing like she is supposed to. But if she comes a little bit early, I won't be offended.
Am I nervous? Not really. I
probably should be. But lately I've had a strange peace come over me when I think of little
Serah coming into the world.
I've wondered throughout my wife's pregnancy about whether this whole thing was sanctioned by the Lord. We weren't planning this. Did we do something wrong? Is she supposed to be coming into the world at this time?
I now realize that it doesn't matter. God loves little children. He loves for his children to be sent to goodly parents.
Y'know, sometimes we talk about God's plan like it is written in stone. Like there is one way that he has planned things to work out, and there is no deviation. We know that God
knows everything, and maybe sometimes that makes us think that our path is set, that there is one way we are going to go, and he knows it.
I reality, it's not that way. God's knowledge
is infinite! And so are our possible paths. He doesn't know just the
one path that we will choose. He knows all the paths we
could choose. And he works hard to keep us on one of the paths that will lead us back to him.
If it wasn't so, why would he offer us so many chances to repent when we go astray. If he knows our path is set, and there's no deviating from our wicked ways, why would he not just let us go our way, and fulfill "His plan"?
His plan is for us all to return to him. He knows that we all can do that. He gives us every opportunity. He has backup plans upon backup plans when we reject his original plan. He never gives up on us, no matter how many times we push him away.
But in the end, it is our choice. In the end, we are the one's who make the decisions to follow his plan, or throw it away.
How does this tie in to my daughter? I've had several people tell me that Pamella and I weren't ready for this. It has caused me to doubt in myself, and sadly, caused me to doubt in the Lord just a bit. It made me think that I was deviating from the plan that he had for me.
But as I thought long and hard on the subject, I came to the above realization. That He loves me. And as long as I am trying to follow his commandments for me, He's happy with me. He doesn't have my life mapped out for me. I get to do that for myself. And as long as I am on a path that leads me back to him, he will sanction my decisions, and aide me along the way.
Serah is sanctioned by the Lord. I have no doubts about that. The Lord is happy. And he will be there every step of the way, to grant me strength when I have none, to pick me up when I fall.
So yes I am excited. And no, I am not nervous. My wife and I will be great parents. We have the Lord on our side.