Limitations

I wonder how much our mortal brains can hold before they explode?

The past 3 1/2 years that I have been at my current job, I have learned, and learned, and learned. Now my head is full of all these things and sometimes it feels like there is so much there that I can't possibly fit anymore.

And the past 2 years I have spent pursuing an IT degree have also contributed to that.

I frequently feel myself butting up against the limits of my capabilities to learn, as if it were a physical wall. When I do I imagine myself banging my fists against it and screaming "NO!! I WANT TO LEARN MORE!!"

It is so frustrating.

I will be reading about some technical topic trying to wrap my brain around it, and I feel my brain start to get fuzzy. Eventually, I am just staring at a page with words on it, not gaining anything. At that point I have to step back and admit defeat for the moment.

I hate that. I want to know it all, and I want to know it now!

I am a pretty smart guy. If I take breaks, I can come back a topic that has been eluding me and understand it. I just hate the wait. It takes longer than I want.

I suppose I should just learn patience. There are just so many things I want to do, and I feel so limited by my lack of knowledge.

Something to work on.

I get bored when I don't have some interesting challenge to work on.

I just finished a beginning Java programming class. At first it was a little dull because the things I was learning were things I pretty much already knew. But eventually it became more challenging.

It was an interesting class, and I created something I am pretty proud of. I went above and beyond what the final project actually called for, and that was fun.

However, I still kinda feel... like I wasn't creating anything that was particularly useful.

And now here I am, with so many ideas in my head. Ideas of things I want to learn... and no idea how to learn them.

For example, I want to learn more about PHP. I really want to create something useful in PHP... but I haven't really found anything that catches my fancy.

At one point, I was working on a PHP based ticket tracking solution to replace the one we currently have. However, that is proving to be... not so easy, and I am dealing with an unnecessarily complex database structure to boot. I would love to re-design the database and move it to a different RDBMS (MySQL which is much easier to use with PHP than Firebird), but the thing is, I feel that if I were to do this, it would not be used because it wouldn't tie in to what we already have.

I feel like we are limited where I work by the programming language that the founder of the company chose to write in. And we are limited in how he wrote it. I am only beginning to learn software engineering, but already I can see how the "structure" of our program is a support and maintenance nightmare.

Anyways, back to my original issue. I want to find something that interests me to work on because that is where I learn the most. When I am challenged, and I enjoy the challenge, I get excited about it and learn everything I can about it so that I can find the solution.

For example, at work we needed a way to let our clients have the ability to send out emails without restrictions. Their own e-mail providers were limiting the number of e-mails they could send out each day, and shutting them down if they went over their limit.

I did some research, and found that Microsoft Exchange cost money, but that I could set up a mail server in Linux.

So I did. It didn't take me as long as I expected, and I learned a lot along the way.

Sure, I have a lot to learn, but I did it, and it was fulfilling and exciting to find a real working solution.

And really that is what I enjoy, finding solutions to an interesting problem. And right now, I am in between interesting problems.

Which is when I get bored.

Of course, part of the issue is that I am really not trying all that hard to find interesting problems. Or at least interesting problems that are actually achievable at the moment.

So maybe I'll start making a list of all the interesting problems I can see, and start trying to figure out what it would take to solve them.

I like it!

See, this is why I write sometimes. It helps me work through things in my head.

Ubuntu for now.

Originally I didn't like Ubuntu as much as I did Debian. I can't remember all the reasons I didn't like it, but I know the biggest reason was the whole having to type "sudo" in front of everything instead of logging into the terminal as root. Also, I didn't like the idea of not having a master root account and password. Being able to use the same password that I logged on with to act as root seemed like a security risk to me and bothered me as well, sudoers file or no. I guess to an Ubuntu system administrator, those two reasons for having a problem with Ubuntu would definitely show my ignorance on the subject, but until I learn otherwise, it will still bother me a little bit.

Anyways, I now have an Ubuntu box joined to the domain at work, and my wife and I have a laptop that we run Ubuntu on as well, because we didn't want to pay for another Windows 7 license (I really like 7 as well, it is so far Microsoft's best in my opinion... I hate Vista!). Both my wife and I really like it. I probably like it way more that she does.

Ubuntu just has a great look and feel, and is easily customizable. I love how I have pretty much complete control over every aspect of the operating system, and if there is anything I don't know how to do, there is a great Ubuntu community online, and the answers are within easy reach.

The linux command line syntax is intuitive and simple. It's funny, I find myself trying to use linux commands in the Windows command prompt. Just FYI, ls -a doesn't work in Windows. I know you cared. No really, you did.

Anyways, I have been recommending Ubuntu on Facebook, and to any one who will listen as an operating system. It's free, it's easy to install, and it does everything most people will want it to do.

After playing around with Ubuntu for a while, I think I will see what Fedora is like. After that... I don't know... SuSe is mentioned a lot, as is Slackware and Mint. we'll see!

Shedding the Chains

Well, we are one decent tax return closer to being out of debt! I am very excited! This really helps our goal of being out of my parents house by the fall. It feels really good to be able to breathe a little easier.

Debt sucks. What makes it suck even worse for me is that I have absolutely nothing to show from the debt my wife and I have been in pretty much since day one. I wish I could at least say I had a really sweet car, or a big screen T.V., but I can't. I guess the health of my family is something to show, but it's not as visible.

And I guess the other thing that I have to show from this is an intense desire never to be in debt again. At least not for the stupid stuff. And definitely not more that we can handle. I think it was really good to learn this lesson early on, rather than twenty years down the road when I am trying to retire, and I realize that I can't because I am in too much debt!

In other news, my grandma and grandpa came down this weekend and helped us do some remodeling of the kitchen. Grandma brought down a few computers from the Family History Center in her stake. They upgraded to new computers just recently, and she had a few that were still worth something. She gave one to mom and Les to use in their bedroom so Les could do homework down there, and she gave two to me to play around with. I am very excited! I already have Ubuntu Linux on the one, and once I get a power supply for the other one, I plan on putting Fedora on it. Maybe Debian again, but probable Fedora.

It is really neat for me, now that we are very close to being out of debt, to realize that school really is a reality for me this fall. I have a little bit of money left to pay BYU-I and then they will release my transcripts. Not only that, but this fall we will be able to pay some extra costs if we have to, like books and supplies. It has been 3 years since I attended BYU-I, and I am ready to get back into the college game. If I work hard at it, I could probably at least have my bachelors by the time I am 29, and that is ok with me.

I am coming to realize that 30 isn't that far away, and it really isn't that old either. If I have my degree by the time I am 29, and a Masters/PhD by the time I am 31 or 32, I will be very happy with myself. There is a lot of life left after 30, assuming nothing drastic happens.

I haven't felt this hopeful very often. Things are starting to turn around, and I think this is just the beginning.

It's been a refiner's fire for sure. It's not over yet. Honestly though, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Less sleep, more Linux

I am driving my wife crazy with Linux. I don't know what she is complaining about...

... Ok, ok, I may have spent a lot of time messing around with it... maybe...

Truthfully, I have a bit of a one track mind. I'm a lot like my dad in that way. I will get really excited about something, and for a while, it is all I can think about of talk about. So yeah, I drive my wife crazy with it sometimes. And most likely the rest of the world too.

Anyways, I have spent the last week and a half playing around with my laptop on Linux. I have broken it at least twice now with my meddling, but I think that is the fun part! It helps me to learn when I destroy things. I like having a laptop that doesn't contain anything majorly important to mess around with. So I have had to reinstall Debian at least twice now.

I am now a member of 3 Linux forum communities.

I have 3 versions of Linux installed on my 2 computers to mess with.

I went to Barnes and Noble to look at Linux books.

I haven't been to bed earlier than 12:30 am in the past week and a half at least because I am messing with Linux.

Do you think I'm obsessed or excited? I would lean more towards obsessed. But it has cooled down some. After breaking my installation so many times (Now that I think of it, it may have been 3 or 4 times now...) I have finally decided what I like and don't like, and have set it up that way. No more heavy duty experimentation... for a while at least.

T. Adam Martin

Linux is cool...

I have come to find that I really enjoy working with computers. So far, I am having a lot of fun learning about them, how they work, and all the different things that you can do with them.

For example, I have this really old laptop that is really slow. I loaded Windows XP Professional on it a while back, which is what it was "made for" and it was just so slow . Anyways, I was really fed up with how slow it was being, and there wasn't anything on it that I felt was important, so I decided to load Linux on it.

I did some research, and I decided to load Debian Linux. I really have no reason other than from what I read, it has been a very stable version of Linux for a long time.

I was kinda scared at first, I have never really played around with any other operating system since I used a Mac in elementary school, and a little bit in college. I am not a huge Mac fan.

Anyways, it was really easy to load, and I have had a lot of fun learning how to use it. They have made it pretty user friendly with their desktop environment, and learning to use it as a more advanced user has been a lot of fun.

I would recommend Linux to anyone who has an older computer that needs some work, and won't run a newer version of windows. Those older versions of windows were not very stable anyways.

I have discovered that there is free software out there that allows you to run a "virtual machine" on your current operating system. As it stands now, I plan on using said software to test out Ubuntu and Fedora Linux as well...

Wish me luck!

Always

T. Adam Martin

The Psalm of Nephi

This is one of my favorite passages of scripture. It comforts me to know that even a man as great as Nephi sorrowed because of sin. It comforts me to know that even one as great as he needed the Lord to take his sins away.

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.

24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

I am a terrible poster! I never write in here anymore!

Life gets busy I guess... and I get lazy...

Things are ok, I am really liking the new job a lot. I am trying to relax a bit too. I tend to put a whole bunch of pressure on myself to perform at a job, that I needlessly stress myself out. I am just trying to do a really great job, but I fail to realize that I already am doing a great job, I'm just the only one who doesn't see it.

The wife and I have become addicted to Netflix... we watch Hero's, and NCIS, and... well lets just say that we've had some pretty late nights because we can't stop watching!

I've decided that money sucks, and we should burn it all...

... Ok maybe not, but the lack of money definitely sucks... being young, married, and having a 10 month old baby means you can't live on nothing like you could when you lived at home or in the dorms. You can live in very little, but not nothing!

Anyways, that's all for now all you non-existent people who read my blog!

Incidentally, how did you like last weeks non-exist ant posts?

Better, better, better!!

Deleted that really depressing post. Sorry about that. I was going through a pretty rough time.

That was quite a while ago though. Things are seriously better now. 

We are settled in to our new place. That's really awesome. It took us quite a while, but things are clean and all the boxes are moved into the basement. Sure we still need to go through a lot of them, but having the rest of the house looking nice and organized is amazing. With it clean, this place actually looks nice, and feels like a home!

I have a new job. I will be working there this Wednesday and Friday, then I start full time next Monday. I am so excited! I have learned a lot at Columbia Fitness, and there were a lot of things that I enjoyed about working there. It's time for a change though. Something with better pay, benefits, and organization.

My new job is at a company called Szen Corp. They create software for resorts, golf courses, and fractional properties (formerly "time-shares"). I am now part of their customer support team. That means I will be taking calls from Szen customers, and helping them troubleshoot problems they are having with the software. I will also be documenting the learning process so that I can help create the "Help File" that needs to be put into the system. Another of my duties will be to try and "break" the programs the developers create. Hopefully, I will also be able to learn how to program as well! I am pretty new at a lot of this computer stuff, but I think I have an aptitude for it, and I think I will do really well at it. Like I said, VERY excited!

Plus, the job pays better. About 3 dollars more than I am currently making per hour, with 50 cent raises every 3 months for the first 2 years. A health benefits package, a 401k, and paid leave!

So like I said in my last post, things are definitely looking up!

No Worries, Things Are Better!

Don't have a whole lot of time to update, but I just thought I'd post something more positive!

THINGS ARE BETTER!

Never Goes As Planned

Just found out that BYU-Idaho won't release my transcripts to another university until I pay the balance of my student account. I guess I figured that would be the case, but hearing it from the school's accounting office was a blow. I was dissapointed.

But I was also relieved in a way. It was kind of a spur of the moment kind of dicision, one that didn't leave us with very much time to prepare. Were we to go to Central this winter, which was the plan, we would have had less than a month and a half for me to find a job, for us to find an apartment, and for financial aid in the form of government grants, loans, and private loans.

It was starting to feel like the time that Pamella and I ran off to BYU-I on a wing and a prayer, and wound up not having a place to live. Luckily, we were able to live with my grandparents for a while. Which we were very greatful for, but we didn't plan very well.

I want some time to plan it out better. So that when we do end up going to Ellensburg, everything goes off the best possible way. Not scatter-brained like things have been for us in the past.

Anyways, there's the update!

Looking Forward to the Journey.

Parenthood really does take a lot of time! My wife and I have spent the past few weeks since our daughter was born trying to figure out how to get things done we normally wouldn't have problems doing!

Like visiting family and friends. With a newborn, it is really hard to get out of the house!

Like cleaning. We actually had a hard-ish time doing this in the first place! Now it seems like everything has fallen behind, and even when we get caught up, it falls behind again!

Like sleeping. Yeah, we've lost a lot of that.

Like posting on blogs...

But I love being a dad! And I have the most perfect little girl! She's so adorable! I can hardly believe that she's really mine!

Let me tell you that there are very few things that feel as good as taking a nap on the couch with your little 7 lb baby sleeping on your chest.

It is so weird and amazing that I am a father. I am looking forward to this experience! Teaching and learning. Trying my best to help this little one grow and learn the things that she needs to learn to get through this life.

I know that I very much love and appreciate my parents, and the lessons that they taught me. I know they tried very hard to be great parents. And I know that they loved me fiercely.

I hope that my daughter, and my future children will know how much I love them. And hope that the knowledge of my love will help bear them up in hard times. And that they will know that I am always there for them to be a shoulder to cry on (right now, I'm a shoulder to cry, and spit up on).

I truly am looking forward to the adventures to come!

I am so happy and grateful that...

I've been re-reading the secret this morning. I will get through it this time! I've started it 4 times I think, and each time I allow something to get in my way. It's probably the shortest book I haven't been able to get through.

Not this time though! This time I will read it from cover to cover. And I will read it again.

Originally, I was a skeptic. Mainly because I didn't want to believe. I was first introduced to The Secret in a sales meeting for a job that I hated.

Subconsciously I think I knew from the first time I saw it that The Secret was a real thing. I can think back on my life and see it at work in many of the things I now have. My loving wife is one example. My debt is another.

I remember knowing from a young age that I wanted to marry. I thought about it all the time, even when I was 10 years old. When I got a little bit older, I knew more specifics. I knew I would meet and date the woman I was going to marry before I left on my mission. After I met my wife, I knew that we would have challenges, but that we would be able to overcome any obstacles that we encountered. Now here we are, together, happy, and excited new parents!

I attracted my wife and family to me. And if you ask my wife about the person she always envisioned as her husband, you will see that she attracted me to her as well.

As I have been reading, I have come to realize that I have attracted my debt to me as well. Another thing that I knew from a young age was that I didn't want to follow my parents footsteps into crippling debt. I focused so hard on it! So hard that now I have the debt that I didn't want! Even now it's hard for me not to scream inside my head, "I don't want this debt! This debt is burying me alive!"

Little did I know at the time, that by focusing so much on debt, I attracted it to myself!

I come from a very cynical family. It's been a part of my life for a long time. But my bishop said something the other day that really hit me. He said it takes like 1/900th of a watt to change. Just a little bit of energy to rearrange a few brain cells. I don't remember the exacted measurement of energy he quoted, but it was small, and that was the point.

Again, thinking back on my life, I can see that this is a true statement! I remember being so opposed to wearing a seatbelt as a child! I hated it! It was uncomfortable, and restrictive. Then one day, I think I was eleven, something clicked in my head, and I decided that it was safer to wear a seatbelt than to be thrown through the windshield. I have never failed to wear a seatbelt since.

Another example: My dad was a big advocate of men putting down the toilet seat after they were done "taking care of business". I would get a lecture every time I failed to do it. I was relatively rebelious about it, until one day it just clicked in my head. I have been very consistant in this practice ever since. I rarely miss, though it does happen.

So, I don't have to be a cynic! I can be a very positive person! All I have to do is decide! I can think positive thoughts, and be an unshakeable optimist, and attract great things into my life! All it takes is a little bit of energy!

Help! I'm a father!

Just kidding! I'm actually really very excited. Her name is Serah Katherine Helen Martin, and she is absolutely adorable! She has the cutest little face, and little fingers and toes, and little wrinkly knees...

Ok, I'll stop!

Anyways, I couldn't be more happy. For the most part she is a good and quite little girl, but she fusses a little bit. She's not used to this world yet. Of course, we're not really used to her either! Last night was our first night alone with her. Up till last night we had nurses and doctors around to help us, and tell us what to do. Now we're at home, and we're on our own. It's a little scary, and we are a little unsure of ourselves, but we are really excited as well!

And I can't help but look at her face, and see how adorable she is, and just smile. Even when she's screaming.

Anyways, not a lot of time tonight... and maybe not a lot of time for a while... but there you go!

The Best Laid Plans.

I will probably have a baby girl in the next 2-3 weeks. Everyone seems to think she will be here before her due date, including the doctor.

Am I ready for this? Maybe. I don't know very many people who were truly ready for kids.

Am I excited? You bet!

Sure it's scary. And yeah, our finances are still in shambles. But I am excited for her to get here. I'd like her to wait a few more weeks, so that she can finish developing like she is supposed to. But if she comes a little bit early, I won't be offended.

Am I nervous? Not really. I probably should be. But lately I've had a strange peace come over me when I think of little Serah coming into the world.

I've wondered throughout my wife's pregnancy about whether this whole thing was sanctioned by the Lord. We weren't planning this. Did we do something wrong? Is she supposed to be coming into the world at this time?

I now realize that it doesn't matter. God loves little children. He loves for his children to be sent to goodly parents.

Y'know, sometimes we talk about God's plan like it is written in stone. Like there is one way that he has planned things to work out, and there is no deviation. We know that God knows everything, and maybe sometimes that makes us think that our path is set, that there is one way we are going to go, and he knows it.

I reality, it's not that way. God's knowledge is infinite! And so are our possible paths. He doesn't know just the one path that we will choose. He knows all the paths we could choose. And he works hard to keep us on one of the paths that will lead us back to him.

If it wasn't so, why would he offer us so many chances to repent when we go astray. If he knows our path is set, and there's no deviating from our wicked ways, why would he not just let us go our way, and fulfill "His plan"?

His plan is for us all to return to him. He knows that we all can do that. He gives us every opportunity. He has backup plans upon backup plans when we reject his original plan. He never gives up on us, no matter how many times we push him away.

But in the end, it is our choice. In the end, we are the one's who make the decisions to follow his plan, or throw it away.

How does this tie in to my daughter? I've had several people tell me that Pamella and I weren't ready for this. It has caused me to doubt in myself, and sadly, caused me to doubt in the Lord just a bit. It made me think that I was deviating from the plan that he had for me.

But as I thought long and hard on the subject, I came to the above realization. That He loves me. And as long as I am trying to follow his commandments for me, He's happy with me. He doesn't have my life mapped out for me. I get to do that for myself. And as long as I am on a path that leads me back to him, he will sanction my decisions, and aide me along the way.

Serah is sanctioned by the Lord. I have no doubts about that. The Lord is happy. And he will be there every step of the way, to grant me strength when I have none, to pick me up when I fall.

So yes I am excited. And no, I am not nervous. My wife and I will be great parents. We have the Lord on our side.

Learn Something New Every Day...

Had a good time in Seattle! It was rainy, and I forgot how much I like the rain! And I forgot how much I like the greens over there.

I got a 99% in my class, and I learned a whole bunch about commercial video distribution! I am really excited about it. I love to learn about how things work, and how to build/fix things. So now I know everything there is to know about Cable, and how to distribute the signal to many tv's.

Well, not everything there is to know... :0)

I wish I could go into a lot of detail in here about what I learned. But that would bore my very few readers to tears, and perhaps they would quit reading. Suffice it to say, it's really cool!

I can't wait to put the things I've learned to practice! I think it will be so fun to do this! I wonder what other applications this will have for my life!

Got a Kick Out of This.

Some of it was a little harsh, but funny!

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTIONThis is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...

'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them , but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most chari table people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes .

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care..

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!! GET OVER IT !!!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not , you know who will.

...anyways...

Moving on!

All Rise for the Leader of Our Nation.

I read in "Newsweek" yesterday that, according to one poll, President Bush is has spent 23 consecutive months at less than a 40% approval rating. The author of this article makes this statement:

"No matter what he does, or what happens in the world, the public seems to have decided that Bush has been a failure."

I don't know how accurate this particular poll is, and whether or not it can actually speak for the "public". I've heard that poll statistics can be a tricky thing. However, the above quote still disturbs me.

I don't claim to know anything about politics, and I consider myself out of the loop when it comes to current events (an ailment which I am trying to remedy), and I knew very little about the Bush Administration's policies till I read this article. So maybe I'm a little naive about all this stuff.

I just don't see a reason to call Bush a failure.

Sure, maybe some things he has done were not the best. But who hasn't? President Bush has always seemed to me to be the kind of guy who genuinely cares about this nation, and what is best for it. And I respect him for doing what it takes to do what he feels is right for this nation and it's people.

If the polls are correct, and we as a people consider Bush as a failure, then we have essentially withdrawn our support of him. That bothers me. He's the leader of our nation. He's not oppressing us as a people. He's not sending in the troops to impose his unrighteous will on us. We did not elect him as president so that he could make us all happy. We elected him because we thought he would be the best man to run our country for four years, and then four more.

The thing that I really liked about the "Newsweek" article was how it almost defended President Bush. Though you could tell that the author didn't really care for our current President, he made it clear that there have been significant changes for the better in the Bush Administrations policies over the last few years. Even though they started out making some mistakes, they have done many things to correct them.

This to me is another reason to be proud of our current leader. No matter how gung-ho he was, and how convinced he was that he was doing the right thing, he can still say, "I was wrong. Let’s go another direction."

Not that the media would like you to know that. That's a whole different rant.

Again, I'm relatively uneducated about the topic, so maybe I shouldn't even be writing this. I just feel like we as a people enjoy complaining. That we enjoy placing blame where no blame is due, as long as it is not on ourselves. And that perhaps the fact that we don't approve of President Bush is our own problem. That maybe we will never approve of whoever we elect as President because we are more concerned with what we want than what is actually good for the nation as a whole.

I don't know.

Maybe.

I think the President of our country has a hard job. I don't envy him. I don't think I could do a better job.

Do you?

Not Your Run-of-the-Mill Reading Experience.

I finally finished "Breaking Dawn".

Loved it. Absolutely loved it.

It's not often that a book catches my interest anymore. It's even more rare for a book to keep me captivated. I have to say that the "Twilight Saga" is the first new series to keep me entranced since Harry Potter, and the Odd Thomas books.

And this last book! I think it was very well written. If I hadn't had to go to work, I would have finished it in one 8 hour read-a-thon.

I'm glad it took me a week to read though. It made it last longer. It gave me time to think about what was going on. To process all the unexpected twists. And boy were they unexpected.

I agree with my sister-in-law, Noelle, it was a little more intense than I would expect from a YA book. But then again, I started reading "The Wheel of Time" series when I was in 7th grade. That's college level reading. So I guess it just depends on the young adult.

Spoiler Alert: If you haven't read "Breaking Dawn" yet, stop reading now.

I gotta say, I like Bella better as a vampire than I liked her as a human. She just seems to have more clarity of thought, and her priorities seem to be more in order. She annoyed me just a bit as a human.

Plus, it was fun to read about her discovering her new found "vampire powers". And her relationship with Edward was more interesting to me after her transformation as well. It was on more equal footing.

Anyways, I suppose I should go get ready for work.

I'm a little sad. Now I have to begin the search again. The search for truly well written literature.
Hopefully, it's not as hard to find as it has seemed these past few years.

Here's to Life.

Payday always comes as such a relief. Right up until you realize that it isn't going to go as far as it needs to. But that's OK, at least it goes somewhere!

Just talked to one of my missionary companions a little while ago. Spencer McKinney. I love that guy. He's actually planning on moving out to Rexburg for school at BYU-I in January. I hope he does, cause it would be awesome to see him again.

We were just talking about how things were going in our lives, and what our plans were. It's amazing how nothing ever really works out the way you think they should, or the way you envisioned.

Take for example my life. Some things have turned out the way I planned. Like marrying my wife. I knew from a young age that I would marry someone I had dated before my mission. And I couldn't be happier with that part of my life.

But my plans for my education and career? Those have gone nothing like I thought they would. I was supposed to be a music teacher. I was supposed to get my Masters in music. Hasn't happened, and probably won't. Music just isn't the path I feel like I should follow.

Without that, I am completely adrift. No real plan, no real idea of what I want out of my life. I have some ideas, but nothing solid.

It's weird living like this for me. When I was young, I had goals to work towards. Graduating high school, going on a mission, starting a family. Well, those goals have been realized, but my career goals are shaky at best.

I guess every one's life is different, but it's hard not to compare myself to other people. I have a friend from high school who has his PhD in some engineering field. One of my really good friends just got his BS in Electrical Engineering, and has a great job with the government. It seems like all the people I know my age are either graduating, or starting great careers. And here I am, floating.

I'm not complaining, I'm quite happy. I love my wife, I'm excited to have a daughter, I enjoy my job. But I know it needs to get better. We've been praying for better.

That's why this Rad Tech job seems to be such a great thing for us. It's a great job, and it's in an accessible avenue. It gives me the means to support myself, and my family. I would actually feel comfortable going to school. As it sits, I don't feel like I can do that, because I don't feel like I could support my family and do school in my current situation.

Sometimes I wish it was now. I wish I already had the great job. I wish Pamella and I were living a more comfortable lifestyle than we currently are. But the Lord often sees fit to try the patience of those that follow him. He knows its the only way to help us grow. If there were no trials in life, why would we try to improve? And if I hope to improve far beyond my current level, I have to be OK with the challenges.